Closing Bell: Friday the 13th arrives right on cue as the ASX has a shocker

Detailed summary

Friday the 13th turned up, miners fell over and the ASX decided the weekend couldn’t come soon enough. ... Read More The post Closing Bell: Friday the 13th arrives right on cue as…

Just out of shot, two bored council workers enjoying the moment enormously. Pic: Getty Images

The ASX spent Friday getting its arse handed to it by miners, closing 0.71% lower as materials, property and banks all went backwards.

Wall Street had only slipped a bit overnight, which was fairly heroic considering Nvidia had just lost Jensen Huang and briefly dropped about 14%.

Huang resigned after reports of alleged extramarital affairs, including one involving a woman who may or may not have watched Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me at least five times too many.

Nvidia eventually finished about 4% lower, while AMD and Broadcom did what rivals do when the king falls off the horse: tried very hard not to grin.

Back here, gold, silver and copper were all pantsed overnight, materials fell around 1.4% and BHP (ASX:BHP) and Rio Tinto (ASX:RIO) spent Friday looking like they’d rather be anywhere else.

Oil, meanwhile, jumped nearly 4% after Donald Trump said the US didn’t need a deal with Iran. Beaut. Exactly what inflation needed.

TLDR? Jensen quit, miners were flogged, oil got punchy and the ASX crawled into the weekend calling for a stiff drink.

Utilities were the lone adult in the room on Friday, up 1.28% while most of the market wandered off and did something regrettable.

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