Is his money mine and my money his? Here’s how my husband and I split finances

Detailed summary

How couples split finances in marriage, from joint accounts to shared bills, and why open money talks matter for long-term security. Read more at straitstimes.com.

Today, we are seeing a growing share of couples where wives out-earn their husbands, alongside more fathers quitting their full-time jobs to care for their children.

SINGAPORE – As newlyweds a couple of years ago, my husband and I were determined to keep money talks to a minimum.

A piece of advice a mentor gave me then was to prolong our “honeymoon period” as long as possible – “before life happens”. I interpreted that as avoiding conversations about money.

It doesn’t help that my husband and I generally have conflict-avoidant personalities and so we don’t like to talk about money.

For at least the first two years of our marriage, we set aside a few hours in the last week of December, sitting across from each other at a cafe to discuss goals for the year ahead and write down financial commitments we each would take care of. And that was about it.

But as we know, life often doesn’t fall neatly into the little “boxes” we plan for. This means there are always additional expenses we haven’t factored in, such as unexpected health check-ups or the thousands of dollars we might suddenly need for car and appliance repair or replacement.

Clearly, it does not make sense to review money commitments only once a year.

So who pays for what? What’s fair? What are some healthy ways to split finances while keeping the marriage intact?

US financial author and speaker David Bach aptly recounted the tension that arose from his first financial fight with his wife as a newly married couple in his book, Smart Couples Finish Rich.

Opening of the article, excerpted from The Straits Times Business. To read the rest, open the article on the publisher's site.